I show pictures of the loveballs to everyone. I talk about them. I obsess about them. No longer am I preoccupied with the problem of being a particular, single girl in New York City, who still hasn't fallen out of love with someone who can't be with her. Neither am I frightened about my future. The only future I have to worry about is theirs.
I know that I talk a lot about gender and sexuality on this blog, so it will come as no surprise that my girls are named Jasper and Taylor. They are too beautiful to have girly names. It would be like putting the whipped cream on the frosting. Jasper's face is half orange, half black; Taylor has a black streak down her nose and an orange muzzle. They are six month old kittens.
I have worked very hard to get them. My landlord is allergic and after he refused to allow them the first time I asked I avoided the vet's where I had met the cats for three weeks. On the third, I went back to make sure they were gone. It was like getting over a boyfriend that had broken up with me. I needed to see that he had moved on. This would have worked but--THEY WERE STILL THERE. They were still there the next week. And the week after that.
On the third week I bought a book called Think Like a Cat: How to Raise a Well-Adjusted Cat, Not a Sour Puss. Just in case I ever become a cat owner later. I didn't just read it; I annotated it.
On the fourth week I wandered into a pet store and was looking longingly at the toys. The owner introduced me to a product called Allerpet that would take away 99% of the cats' dander. I bought it.
On the fifth week I asked the vet's if they really were still up for adoption. They were. And the staff at the vet's remembered me and told me how they had really been hoping that I would get the kittens. One of the administrative assistants recommended I email Lyssa who was in charge of adoptions about my situation and cc everybody the rest of the vets. They suggested using an air purifier with a Hepa filter and endorsed the Allerpet.
I finally got up my courage, drafted a letter to my landlord, and had a talk with him in which we agreed that this would be a two month trial period.
I prepared my room for them and the first night I was so excited that my roommate and I played with them until the wee hours. Then they woke up at six and pounced on each other. This was not conducive to my landlord's sleep: an unforeseen problem. I researched how to keep your cats from running around at night and found that they followed their humans' circadian rhythms. So I have been running home from work without even one social drink with my friends to set the example of what kind of circadian rhythm I want my kittens to follow.
I must teach them to come and go to their beds, to recognize their names, and to stay out of the hallway.
I must make sure to distract them and reward them every time they start chewing on plastic or an electrical cord.
I get way less sleep because I play with them in the morning because it's the only time I have consistently free.
I can't stay out late anymore.
They are perfect in every way.
